I changed my LJ style. The kerneljournal is not quite the kerneljournal anymore.
It had been broken for months and months, the last few because the 5 or 6 images it used were removed from the server on which my friend had hosted them for years, and I just ignored the broken image placeholders... then about a week or two ago it started asking for http authentication for each image on each load of my 'most recent ' or 'friends' pages. Each time I had to close an authentication dialog, I'd get a little bit sadder.
I suppose I have felt "style envy" for years, though I was always proud of what I had created in my popcorn journal style. It was kind of a big thing, back in the day. Before S2 and all of these fancy bloggish designs and new LJ features glommed into the experience. It was HTML, CSS, and %%variables%%, it was. And I made a few styles, and even entered the very first contest, before which extremely few users bothered with styles at all. I brought to LJ what I felt was the first clean, non-livejournal-looking S1 style, and it had good inspiration for the popcorn theme: the encroaching audience/entertainment factor of an online journal, public or semi-public, and it reminded me with every look at my journal that it was not just there for myself (as much as we all say).
Still, it hadn't been looking too fancy for a while, but I never did get around to figuring out S2 and layers and all that junk, and it takes hours and days of patience, focus, and free time to really start something worth a damn from scratch. Brainstorm and make a comp, play with it, get inspired colors, break it down, optimize it, CSS-ify it, check all the code, check in all the browsers, find a webhost, put everything into a style, fidget with style options, change it for each view, test it with friends' page content, critique it for usability, make changes, finalize things, switch it all over, etc etc. I just don't find myself having the energy or inspiration to do that, for livejournal. That sums up how I felt/feel.
But now I'm just tired of things not working, so I switched it to an S2 style, made completely by someone else. I'd like to think that maybe I inspired the idea behind it, but who knows. Just because I was one of the first couple thousand elgayers doesn't mean I was the first blogger to iconify popcorn as the perfect expression of the blogging conundrum, much less that someone else didn't think of it just the same. Even if it was my idea first, someone really put quite a good amount of work and good ideas into this theme that I'm using, which won some kind of something in some style contest (which I ignored). It's got little table backgrounds that have a fancy pattern and a gradient toward the right, fancy CSS definitions with big quotation marks for blockquotes, fancy red links. I even like the spiffy light rays behind the popcorn... I did that once, on my vector illustration self portrait, like a year and a half ago.
But I think this means my "elite elgay" card is revoked now, and I don't think I can really still call myself much of a web designer. I need to take some classes just to force myself to make something, to do something better, and to remind myself that I'm not half bad when I really apply myself. Being in a classroom with a diverse group of people helps me to see the whole continuum of creativity levels out there, an array of approaches and work methodologies, and sort of breeds little unspoken competitive things with the better few. I need that sometimes, a little friendly, non-threatening competition. Perhaps once I find some inspiration, the kerneljournal can be reborn. Until then, I'll just enjoy someone else's work.
It had been broken for months and months, the last few because the 5 or 6 images it used were removed from the server on which my friend had hosted them for years, and I just ignored the broken image placeholders... then about a week or two ago it started asking for http authentication for each image on each load of my 'most recent ' or 'friends' pages. Each time I had to close an authentication dialog, I'd get a little bit sadder.
I suppose I have felt "style envy" for years, though I was always proud of what I had created in my popcorn journal style. It was kind of a big thing, back in the day. Before S2 and all of these fancy bloggish designs and new LJ features glommed into the experience. It was HTML, CSS, and %%variables%%, it was. And I made a few styles, and even entered the very first contest, before which extremely few users bothered with styles at all. I brought to LJ what I felt was the first clean, non-livejournal-looking S1 style, and it had good inspiration for the popcorn theme: the encroaching audience/entertainment factor of an online journal, public or semi-public, and it reminded me with every look at my journal that it was not just there for myself (as much as we all say).
Still, it hadn't been looking too fancy for a while, but I never did get around to figuring out S2 and layers and all that junk, and it takes hours and days of patience, focus, and free time to really start something worth a damn from scratch. Brainstorm and make a comp, play with it, get inspired colors, break it down, optimize it, CSS-ify it, check all the code, check in all the browsers, find a webhost, put everything into a style, fidget with style options, change it for each view, test it with friends' page content, critique it for usability, make changes, finalize things, switch it all over, etc etc. I just don't find myself having the energy or inspiration to do that, for livejournal. That sums up how I felt/feel.
But now I'm just tired of things not working, so I switched it to an S2 style, made completely by someone else. I'd like to think that maybe I inspired the idea behind it, but who knows. Just because I was one of the first couple thousand elgayers doesn't mean I was the first blogger to iconify popcorn as the perfect expression of the blogging conundrum, much less that someone else didn't think of it just the same. Even if it was my idea first, someone really put quite a good amount of work and good ideas into this theme that I'm using, which won some kind of something in some style contest (which I ignored). It's got little table backgrounds that have a fancy pattern and a gradient toward the right, fancy CSS definitions with big quotation marks for blockquotes, fancy red links. I even like the spiffy light rays behind the popcorn... I did that once, on my vector illustration self portrait, like a year and a half ago.
But I think this means my "elite elgay" card is revoked now, and I don't think I can really still call myself much of a web designer. I need to take some classes just to force myself to make something, to do something better, and to remind myself that I'm not half bad when I really apply myself. Being in a classroom with a diverse group of people helps me to see the whole continuum of creativity levels out there, an array of approaches and work methodologies, and sort of breeds little unspoken competitive things with the better few. I need that sometimes, a little friendly, non-threatening competition. Perhaps once I find some inspiration, the kerneljournal can be reborn. Until then, I'll just enjoy someone else's work.
I think I'm finally over Barack. His presence and demeanor had swayed me despite his issue stances being similarly-appealing as Hillary's thus far, and I was left defending my static and near-equal interest in Hillary to anyone who asked, "Obama or Clinton?" My answer was usually not much more than a wait-and-see approach. He made a speech last year that I'm just now finding where he gets in-depth with some evangelical Christians.
I just think it's questionable that he is trying to appeal to absolutely every audience but concurrently support separation of church and state, and yet he admits himself that his religion motivates his moral opinions that form his platform. Something is going to have to give here.
Compare this (and other speeches he's made on the subject, including one plastered on his website front page) to Hillary, who focuses on real, universal issues to begin with and on almost all points is difficult to disagree with, and who does not even mention religion--it all just feels like Barack is doing a lot of posturing. On the other hand, any shred of democracy is better than whatever the RNC is cooking up.
I went to Hillary's website and watched every one of her videos and read about her issues, and I almost cried a few times just because she really gave me a hope for my life, my government, my family, and my world that I haven't felt in quite a few years. Even if Hillary merely placates gay civil rights for 4 years (letting us homos deal with progress for a while), I would be willing to trade that just to have that brilliant, caring, dedicated woman in office. My opinion for the next few years will be that there are more important things than the gay marriage impasse.
Given the increasing diversity of America’s population, the dangers of sectarianism have never been greater. Whatever we once were, we are no longer just a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.At least he's aware that this is no longer a Christian "God's Country," but later in the same speech he talks from a position where he goes so far into Christianity-related crap that I really question if we're really going to see a pluralistic Barack or not. He talks about how his personal, religiously-guided opinion on abortion makes his platform, but that he's going to have to find a way to market it, and many similar decisions throughout his hypothetical presidency, to those who are "without faith." So, make your platform based on religion rather than these principles of human rights and universal goals, but then slap on a coat of pluralistic paint after you've formed your platform... because that makes a lot of sense. Just the way he talks about how so much of our country is "without faith" smacks that he thinks atheists are lacking something, which embitters me.
I just think it's questionable that he is trying to appeal to absolutely every audience but concurrently support separation of church and state, and yet he admits himself that his religion motivates his moral opinions that form his platform. Something is going to have to give here.
Compare this (and other speeches he's made on the subject, including one plastered on his website front page) to Hillary, who focuses on real, universal issues to begin with and on almost all points is difficult to disagree with, and who does not even mention religion--it all just feels like Barack is doing a lot of posturing. On the other hand, any shred of democracy is better than whatever the RNC is cooking up.
I went to Hillary's website and watched every one of her videos and read about her issues, and I almost cried a few times just because she really gave me a hope for my life, my government, my family, and my world that I haven't felt in quite a few years. Even if Hillary merely placates gay civil rights for 4 years (letting us homos deal with progress for a while), I would be willing to trade that just to have that brilliant, caring, dedicated woman in office. My opinion for the next few years will be that there are more important things than the gay marriage impasse.
My birthday is coming up in a little less than two weeks, and I had totally forgotten about it, until a friend posted a birthday gift list. Now, I am not always the type to shower people on their birthdays nor do I get a lot of gifts (I don't expect anything but an iCard really), but it's still fun to make a list! It's like a list of things I like right now, and once I get money to spend at my own discretion, things I'll buy myself. ( Ooh, pretty things... )
(Of course, the best birthday gift is the gift of CARBS!)
(Of course, the best birthday gift is the gift of CARBS!)
- Music:The Chipettes - Diamond Dolls
Thank you for helping me take this crucial message to Congress.
On March 21st, I'm going to hand-deliver your messages on television when I testify at Congressional hearings on global warming.
This is an incredible opportunity to show Congress the energy behind this issue. I need your help to really make it count. Can you commit to getting 10 of your friends to sign a message to Congress before March 21st?
To get your friends involved in our effort, please forward them this note or direct them to:
http://www.algore.com/cards.html
Thank you,
-Al Gore
On March 21st, I'm going to hand-deliver your messages on television when I testify at Congressional hearings on global warming.
This is an incredible opportunity to show Congress the energy behind this issue. I need your help to really make it count. Can you commit to getting 10 of your friends to sign a message to Congress before March 21st?
To get your friends involved in our effort, please forward them this note or direct them to:
http://www.algore.com/cards.html
Thank you,
-Al Gore
Today, thankfully my day off from work or any other duties, has been a significant day in tech-history. Steve Jobs, CEO of the company formerly known as Apple Computer, Inc (now simply Apple, Inc) finalized announcements for both Apple's solution to living room media center convergence and Apple's solution to merging media, internet-based communication, and generally-pesky mobile phones. As many have said, the iPhone is one of the most heavily-rumored, oft-hoaxed, and eagerly-awaited products never to have been announced by a company. It had a cult following even while Jobs made comments to the media condemning convergence devices and PDAs, including Apple's supposed interest in making them. Of course, the iPod avalanche has changed everything, and with today's announcements joining the iPod, Apple is heading toward becoming the new, brighter, better-tuned Sony.
What is most interesting to me, being the long-time wireless industry geek and expert I am, is how Apple has nudged itself into an industry that historically blocks out newcomers, shields itself from anything more than slow, gradual, trickle-down innovations (almost as bad as the auto industry, really). Only post-iPod Apple could pull this off. Moreover, Apple is soon to become entwined in an intricate dance of needs, processes, and infrastructures, one of the most established, barely-questioned, and (for consumers) frustrating tangos between manufacturers and carriers of mobile wireless services.
Now, my personal opinions on this are mixed. This could be Apple shoehorning into the industry with interests only on profits and innovating the experience they control (the phone itself, the technologies, the convergence, how it fits into the digital lifestyle they've built, etc), but it could also be Apple changing the way things are done. This could challenge a lot of norms we've accepted, particularly in the United States. It could upset the balance of power between CDMA and GSM providers. It could change the status quo with regard to smartphones vs. phonephones. It could mean a dilution of the concepts of contract-for-subsidy programs through carriers, or carrier handset-branding altogether (eventually, that is). It may change (hopefully, increase) the level and source of support that we receive on our wireless handsets, or in a broader sense, decrease the need for technical support with greater user-friendliness and innovation. It could spark a change of focus in terms of consumer demographic that can appreciate high-end devices (which was already in effect in the music player realm due to the iPod, and coming down the pipeline thanks to Palm's latest Treos). Of less interest, it may mark the decline of the MVNO concept, which still isn't such a bad thing considering how dismal they were being adopted and how little competition they elicited with the big boys.
Anyway, that's all speculation for now, and we'll see the fruits of Apple's much-expected but nonetheless mind-blowing announcements today coming, in the next years and months as other providers decide to either jump on the bandwagon and innovate their asses off, or sit this one out and aim for the easier slice of the pie. After all, it will probably take close to the six months that Apple has projected before the iPhone is finalized, FCC-cleared, contracted-out, more thoroughly tested, given to Cingular for full testing, and finally mass-produced in acceptable quantities. I have a feeling that with the level of innovation within and mass anticipation for this product that even Cingular might see some growing pains in the next 6-24 months. (We'll see how that goes with AT&T, especially considering their own RBOC-cum-media-triumvirate status before reabsorbing Cingular amidst the iPhone development.)
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, Apple's iPhone is the newest addition to their product family, an iPod-like device which sports a 3.5" screen (besting the Zune with 160ppi compared to 110), which is not only touch-sensitive, but multi-touch, which means you can do gestures with multiple fingers--the possibilities for which we're only just beginning to explore. It is of course a fully-featured mobile phone with modern wireless data support, it syncs with your computer or other devices with both Bluetooth and WiFi, it bests every other device of its size by running a FULL operating system (albeit shown thus far with a modified size-appropriate UI), and with 4 or 8GB of NAND flash memory inside, not to mention a new level of intelligence with proximity sensors, ambient light sensors, and an accelerometer--meaning it will be intelligent enough to adjust based on where it is and how you're using it. It has the most amazing software, interfaces, functionalities, and brilliant touches to it that can barely be explained without seeing the device in action, so I suggest anyone and everyone at the least take a look at the iPhone website and watch some of the demonstrations, if not watch Jobs' keynote to see him using the device (to be posted later today).
Apple Computer is dead. Long live Apple!
What is most interesting to me, being the long-time wireless industry geek and expert I am, is how Apple has nudged itself into an industry that historically blocks out newcomers, shields itself from anything more than slow, gradual, trickle-down innovations (almost as bad as the auto industry, really). Only post-iPod Apple could pull this off. Moreover, Apple is soon to become entwined in an intricate dance of needs, processes, and infrastructures, one of the most established, barely-questioned, and (for consumers) frustrating tangos between manufacturers and carriers of mobile wireless services.
Now, my personal opinions on this are mixed. This could be Apple shoehorning into the industry with interests only on profits and innovating the experience they control (the phone itself, the technologies, the convergence, how it fits into the digital lifestyle they've built, etc), but it could also be Apple changing the way things are done. This could challenge a lot of norms we've accepted, particularly in the United States. It could upset the balance of power between CDMA and GSM providers. It could change the status quo with regard to smartphones vs. phonephones. It could mean a dilution of the concepts of contract-for-subsidy programs through carriers, or carrier handset-branding altogether (eventually, that is). It may change (hopefully, increase) the level and source of support that we receive on our wireless handsets, or in a broader sense, decrease the need for technical support with greater user-friendliness and innovation. It could spark a change of focus in terms of consumer demographic that can appreciate high-end devices (which was already in effect in the music player realm due to the iPod, and coming down the pipeline thanks to Palm's latest Treos). Of less interest, it may mark the decline of the MVNO concept, which still isn't such a bad thing considering how dismal they were being adopted and how little competition they elicited with the big boys.
Anyway, that's all speculation for now, and we'll see the fruits of Apple's much-expected but nonetheless mind-blowing announcements today coming, in the next years and months as other providers decide to either jump on the bandwagon and innovate their asses off, or sit this one out and aim for the easier slice of the pie. After all, it will probably take close to the six months that Apple has projected before the iPhone is finalized, FCC-cleared, contracted-out, more thoroughly tested, given to Cingular for full testing, and finally mass-produced in acceptable quantities. I have a feeling that with the level of innovation within and mass anticipation for this product that even Cingular might see some growing pains in the next 6-24 months. (We'll see how that goes with AT&T, especially considering their own RBOC-cum-media-triumvirate status before reabsorbing Cingular amidst the iPhone development.)
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, Apple's iPhone is the newest addition to their product family, an iPod-like device which sports a 3.5" screen (besting the Zune with 160ppi compared to 110), which is not only touch-sensitive, but multi-touch, which means you can do gestures with multiple fingers--the possibilities for which we're only just beginning to explore. It is of course a fully-featured mobile phone with modern wireless data support, it syncs with your computer or other devices with both Bluetooth and WiFi, it bests every other device of its size by running a FULL operating system (albeit shown thus far with a modified size-appropriate UI), and with 4 or 8GB of NAND flash memory inside, not to mention a new level of intelligence with proximity sensors, ambient light sensors, and an accelerometer--meaning it will be intelligent enough to adjust based on where it is and how you're using it. It has the most amazing software, interfaces, functionalities, and brilliant touches to it that can barely be explained without seeing the device in action, so I suggest anyone and everyone at the least take a look at the iPhone website and watch some of the demonstrations, if not watch Jobs' keynote to see him using the device (to be posted later today).
Apple Computer is dead. Long live Apple!
I haven't journaled in that long. Nothing very good has happened, which is an excuse, pitiful at that. I feel like I don't want to talk about my life here anymore.
I have made too many friends, too many interests (not meaning romantic, but otherwise), too many peers, and I just have too much history here. I don't mean to say that my life isn't going in a good direction, but I don't feel comfortable divulging some things even to some of my friends here through a filtered entry or all of them with friends-only entries, and especially not publicly. A friend of mine has two journals due to the dichotomy of her friends and the nature of having a journal for both introspective and community-minded thoughts, and to some extent that separates online- and offline-folk, but this rift for me is larger. I feel a pressure to be someone that I don't know that I am, and I want to talk about things but for some reason I feel this is daunting and exasperating due to what is essentially an audience... but no amount of apathy I muster can cure the writing block that pseudo-audience causes, apparently. I feel more obligated to post than interested in or enthused to post.
I really can't decide what to do about this, so a poll seems appropriate. I am not going to do just whatever everyone says, but I can't help feeling that getting some outside input would be good. I can't be alone, and there's no one better to ask but fellow LiveJournal users.
Poll #876945 plzadvise
Open to: All, results viewable to: All
I think my journal is dead. Long live my journal.
I have made too many friends, too many interests (not meaning romantic, but otherwise), too many peers, and I just have too much history here. I don't mean to say that my life isn't going in a good direction, but I don't feel comfortable divulging some things even to some of my friends here through a filtered entry or all of them with friends-only entries, and especially not publicly. A friend of mine has two journals due to the dichotomy of her friends and the nature of having a journal for both introspective and community-minded thoughts, and to some extent that separates online- and offline-folk, but this rift for me is larger. I feel a pressure to be someone that I don't know that I am, and I want to talk about things but for some reason I feel this is daunting and exasperating due to what is essentially an audience... but no amount of apathy I muster can cure the writing block that pseudo-audience causes, apparently. I feel more obligated to post than interested in or enthused to post.
I really can't decide what to do about this, so a poll seems appropriate. I am not going to do just whatever everyone says, but I can't help feeling that getting some outside input would be good. I can't be alone, and there's no one better to ask but fellow LiveJournal users.
Poll #876945 plzadvise
Open to: All, results viewable to: All
What should I do? (Check multiple.)
View Answers
Keep using the
ibrad journal.![]()
![]()
23 (76.7%)
Stop using the
ibrad journal.![]()
![]()
1 (3.3%)
Start a sekrit new journal (and just deal with having a free/plus account).![]()
![]()
4 (13.3%)
Make new friends filter(s) for personal stuff vs. non-personal stuff.![]()
![]()
16 (53.3%)
Friends cut.![]()
![]()
9 (30.0%)
Buy a rename token and move your journal (permanent account).![]()
![]()
2 (6.7%)
Also redirect to renamed journal from old journal.![]()
![]()
2 (6.7%)
Also transfer friend/friend-of list to renamed journal.![]()
![]()
1 (3.3%)
Force myself to make an entry every day until I get through this.![]()
![]()
4 (13.3%)
Stop using LiveJournal as a personal journal.![]()
![]()
2 (6.7%)
Stop complaining.![]()
![]()
9 (30.0%)
If you've gone through this, what did you do?
I think my journal is dead. Long live my journal.
Windows Vista, aka long, long, long-awaited final product to that which was codenamed Longhorn, went "Golden Master" and is ready to start production. It's crazy to think that this upgrade was actually started around ME's release and before XP, slated for too many different release timeframes to recall, is finally coming to market, and while still somewhat impressive and definitely a welcome improvement, it's only a shadow of what it was once expected to be.
Sure, there's the beautiful and somewhat practical changes to the user interface (if you'll have hardware to support Aero), the entertaining and productivity-enhancing sidebar, the desktop search improvements, the supposedly-improved security robustness, and the usual minor improvements with backing up, performance, and universal accessibility--but where's all of the COOL stuff we were promised and shown years ago? Where's the innovation?
I just don't get it.
Take a minute and watch a Longhorn concept from Microsoft.
I have for a while been a little worried that Vista would overshadow Leopard, more than is expected at least, but I don't know anymore. Almost all of the improvements to Vista can arguably be said have been part of Mac OS X for years, if not since previous releases that have now been outdated by Tiger, or at least a part of Leopard's announced featureset. However, like Apple leaves some features to be discovered by the users, perhaps Microsoft will leave some presents for the users of Vista to find on their own. Nonetheless, compared to what Longhorn was shown with and touted as bringing to the desktop experience in concept, Vista is little more than a long-awaited fresh coat of paint, slapped-on gadgetry, marginal (at best) changes to bundled apps, and a few long-standing holes that have been mediocrely patched. No inventive features, no huge innovations, no shifts in paradigm. For hundreds of dollars (not counting the hardware upgrades you'll likely need to take advantage of Vista's features), I would want more as a consumer. For having waited something like 5-6 years after the concept was first announced, and more than 3 years later than the due date established with Longhorn was first shown off, I would expect more as a critic. I'll say it before I even get a chance to kick the tires: Vista seems a crushing disappointment, and Microsoft makes it painfully easy for me to point this out.
But who knows--maybe my next Mac will dual-boot (or at least run virtualized) Windows Vista, for some reason... for something... I'm still thinking on that one.
Sure, there's the beautiful and somewhat practical changes to the user interface (if you'll have hardware to support Aero), the entertaining and productivity-enhancing sidebar, the desktop search improvements, the supposedly-improved security robustness, and the usual minor improvements with backing up, performance, and universal accessibility--but where's all of the COOL stuff we were promised and shown years ago? Where's the innovation?
I just don't get it.
Take a minute and watch a Longhorn concept from Microsoft.
I have for a while been a little worried that Vista would overshadow Leopard, more than is expected at least, but I don't know anymore. Almost all of the improvements to Vista can arguably be said have been part of Mac OS X for years, if not since previous releases that have now been outdated by Tiger, or at least a part of Leopard's announced featureset. However, like Apple leaves some features to be discovered by the users, perhaps Microsoft will leave some presents for the users of Vista to find on their own. Nonetheless, compared to what Longhorn was shown with and touted as bringing to the desktop experience in concept, Vista is little more than a long-awaited fresh coat of paint, slapped-on gadgetry, marginal (at best) changes to bundled apps, and a few long-standing holes that have been mediocrely patched. No inventive features, no huge innovations, no shifts in paradigm. For hundreds of dollars (not counting the hardware upgrades you'll likely need to take advantage of Vista's features), I would want more as a consumer. For having waited something like 5-6 years after the concept was first announced, and more than 3 years later than the due date established with Longhorn was first shown off, I would expect more as a critic. I'll say it before I even get a chance to kick the tires: Vista seems a crushing disappointment, and Microsoft makes it painfully easy for me to point this out.
But who knows--maybe my next Mac will dual-boot (or at least run virtualized) Windows Vista, for some reason... for something... I'm still thinking on that one.
I got tagged by Melody (
harm1020) to write six random things about myself, so here goes.
I was learning to knit last night and a 1½" wolf spider came to visit us from the hallway, under the apartment door. We tried to take pictures of it before we caught it, by putting the camera on a timed shot (and macro mode) and then scooting it toward the spider with a wooden bar stool, but it kept focusing wrong. Funnily enough, the spider didn't even notice, which is strange because these hunter spiders are apparently very sensitive to vibrations so that they can detect their prey. It makes sense though, they are often active all night long and are attracted to constantly-lit areas like the hallway at night... the only strane part is how it got in, because all of the doors are sealed and on one side there is a vestibule. We put it in a tupperware to save for the leasing office to give to an exterminator, if we ever bother giving it to them. I think we should invest in some apparatus to block the gap between the floor and the bottom of the door, because if it isn't spiders visiting, it's the three bowls a day one of our neighbors must smoke (and accompanying patchouli incense stench), or how we can hear everything happening in the hallway. It's odd to me that they left that gap under the door, because this apartment has the most amazing soundproofing in the walls I've ever experienced. Maybe it's a fire code. I digress.
- I'm trying out this "Stop the Bite" clear nail polish that tastes TERRIBLY bitter in order to stop my unsconscious habit of biting my nails. Unfortunately, I have developed a new habit of picking at my nails, or peeling off the polish.
- Despite my love for every other dairy and cheese product, sour cream has always repulsed me, and as of a few nights ago I can verify that it is still as sickening as ever. *shudder*
- Since James and I met, we've both steadily been gaining weight (and not in the good way, gaining muscle), likely because we eat out more, eat richer foods at home, and neither one of us has the self-control for a restrictive diet, plus he refuses to try working out and I don't like to work out alone. I've gained like 35-40 pounds, gone from barely overweight to obese, a size 34 to size 38, size S/M shirts to size L, and all but completely lost my chin. I'm not as big as I once was, but I am familiar with this weight. For the first time in my life I'm not strongly depressed about my appearance, because I know how successfully I can lose it again once I have the tools and the support (and the money for 24 again), but I don't feel good every day and I don't like how my clothes fit.
- I'm kind of a freak when I vacuum. I have to get the vacuum lines just so, like real carpet cleaners do, or else I have to vacuum all over again.
- Nebraska hates me more than I thought, because for the life of me I couldn't get responses or anything taken care of with the voting offices in order to get my voter status de-registered from Sarpy county and registered in Douglas, which means I could not legally vote in the election. I'm relieved that the Dems have significantly prospered this time around, but I still feel guilty. At least it wasn't a presidential election.
- I've always known that I snore sometimes and that I'm a restless sleeper, but apparently, I'm also violent!
I was learning to knit last night and a 1½" wolf spider came to visit us from the hallway, under the apartment door. We tried to take pictures of it before we caught it, by putting the camera on a timed shot (and macro mode) and then scooting it toward the spider with a wooden bar stool, but it kept focusing wrong. Funnily enough, the spider didn't even notice, which is strange because these hunter spiders are apparently very sensitive to vibrations so that they can detect their prey. It makes sense though, they are often active all night long and are attracted to constantly-lit areas like the hallway at night... the only strane part is how it got in, because all of the doors are sealed and on one side there is a vestibule. We put it in a tupperware to save for the leasing office to give to an exterminator, if we ever bother giving it to them. I think we should invest in some apparatus to block the gap between the floor and the bottom of the door, because if it isn't spiders visiting, it's the three bowls a day one of our neighbors must smoke (and accompanying patchouli incense stench), or how we can hear everything happening in the hallway. It's odd to me that they left that gap under the door, because this apartment has the most amazing soundproofing in the walls I've ever experienced. Maybe it's a fire code. I digress.
And James agrees, even when he hates documentaries. Take an hour or so and watch this video that shows the story of Black Box Voting, Diebold voting machines, some of the human reactions (on both sides) during manipulation of votes, and the shocking reality that not enough people are paying attention.
HBO Special: Hacking Democracy
Crazy and sad. When I saw the 7 votes at the end, my eyes watered.
HBO Special: Hacking Democracy
Crazy and sad. When I saw the 7 votes at the end, my eyes watered.
Here's a reminder for any American voters of what the Bush administration and assorted governmental shitheads have accomplished:
Dubai Ports
Katrina – Dismantled FEMA; "...heckofa job Brownie!"
Dick Cheney Shooting
Electronic Wire Tapping
Suspension of Habeas Corpus
Osama Bin Laden still at large
"We never said there were Weapons of Mass Destruction..."
Jack Abramoff
Mark Foley
Abu Ghraib
2800+ dead in Iraq
No Action on Immigration Reform
No Action on Health Care
Incomprehensible Medicare Drug Reform
Largest ever Federal Debt
Halt to Stem Cell Research
No Action on Social Security Reform
Afghanistan Taliban resurgence
Stay the Course? Bush lied.
Tom Delay
$3+ / gal gas
Terri Schiavo
Federal Marriage Amendment
Dubai Ports
Katrina – Dismantled FEMA; "...heckofa job Brownie!"
Dick Cheney Shooting
Electronic Wire Tapping
Suspension of Habeas Corpus
Osama Bin Laden still at large
"We never said there were Weapons of Mass Destruction..."
Jack Abramoff
Mark Foley
Abu Ghraib
2800+ dead in Iraq
No Action on Immigration Reform
No Action on Health Care
Incomprehensible Medicare Drug Reform
Largest ever Federal Debt
Halt to Stem Cell Research
No Action on Social Security Reform
Afghanistan Taliban resurgence
Stay the Course? Bush lied.
Tom Delay
$3+ / gal gas
Terri Schiavo
Federal Marriage Amendment
I think I just made someone quit their job. But I really wasn't trying, and I don't think I did anything deserving of that response, or really anything wrong for that matter. I was at James' work, and we had just gotten back from lunch and he was calling his mom to get a telephone number for a certain office for me as a favor, and one of his employees was talking to me.
We'll call him Don. I have nothing against Don, though I can't say that I think he's all that intelligent and sometimes talking with him can be frustrating (if you are intelligent). That aside, I still engage in at least polite conversation and smalltalk whenever I see him, I ask him how he's doing, express interest in whatever he is talking about, and try to add something to the discussion. A few times we've gotten on the topic of hot-button issues for the two of us like gay civil rights or weight loss and he's been very rigid in his "opinions," even the ones that are more factual claims than opinions (including the ones that were factually wrong). Still, it's as simple as one of us shrugging it off, changing the subject, or walking away. To give more depth to Don, he is a Texan transplant, doesn't have many friends, is in deep financial debt, unhappy with almost all facets of his life, and he is not just gay and out, but an Obnoxiously Gay(tm) type, where he wears a rainbow bracelet, ring, and sometimes necklace, has at least 2 rainbows on his car, andassumesKNOWS that just about everyone is gay, in addition to bringing it up constantly in conversations (even at work). So, that's Don in a nutshell. ( surely tl;dr. )
We'll call him Don. I have nothing against Don, though I can't say that I think he's all that intelligent and sometimes talking with him can be frustrating (if you are intelligent). That aside, I still engage in at least polite conversation and smalltalk whenever I see him, I ask him how he's doing, express interest in whatever he is talking about, and try to add something to the discussion. A few times we've gotten on the topic of hot-button issues for the two of us like gay civil rights or weight loss and he's been very rigid in his "opinions," even the ones that are more factual claims than opinions (including the ones that were factually wrong). Still, it's as simple as one of us shrugging it off, changing the subject, or walking away. To give more depth to Don, he is a Texan transplant, doesn't have many friends, is in deep financial debt, unhappy with almost all facets of his life, and he is not just gay and out, but an Obnoxiously Gay(tm) type, where he wears a rainbow bracelet, ring, and sometimes necklace, has at least 2 rainbows on his car, and
Okay, this is my second time attempting this entry, interrupted by this PC's restart while I was using Semagic (which is apparently too dumb to handle draft-saving when user switching is involved). I digress.
Hola! I really haven't updated with anything of real substance in some time, and I've wanted to write on here for a good while about goings-on in my life and spell it out and get it out of the way. That way, I figure I can move on and start using this on a more regular basis without feeling "behind" or procrastinating or starting to talk about something and having someone inevitably ask me "What!?" in the process. So, fairly chronologically, here's what I should cover:
My job at Qwest Our house being burglarized James and I getting an apartment My mom going batshit crazy about us moving out My mom stealing our $1,600 insurance claim check My mom avoiding my phonecalls and emails How much Qwest sucked ass and why I left Selling my PowerBook Going back to school (again), job-hunting
( All is explained herein. )
Hola! I really haven't updated with anything of real substance in some time, and I've wanted to write on here for a good while about goings-on in my life and spell it out and get it out of the way. That way, I figure I can move on and start using this on a more regular basis without feeling "behind" or procrastinating or starting to talk about something and having someone inevitably ask me "What!?" in the process. So, fairly chronologically, here's what I should cover:
( All is explained herein. )
This might sound awful, but I hated Michael from the start. I think he's talentless, full of it, and completely ghetto and tasteless. His collection reeked of ATL and he had markedly changed after his so-called "finding himself." He showed some promise toward the end of the challenges as he got adjusted to NYC and being a designer, but those 2 months ruined him. His collection was COMPLETELY inappropriate, and I honestly don't understand where the eight grand went between the cheap fabrics, awful lace-up, terribly cheap sequined belts, and tacky handbags. My friend Amber punned it right, it's more like "streetwalker safari."
It made a season of bitching about Michael totally worthwhile when Heidi said of the final four "It was a hard decision, but [...] Michael is out." Then of the last three (Uli, Laura, and Jeffery, all 3 of which I love), she says again "It was a really tough decision..." meaning it wasn't so tough to axe Michael and his streetwalker/wannabe-Foxxy ATL Mid-K abortion of a line. I laughed so loud when she said it the second time so much more sincerely.
But congratulations to Jeffrey. He was totally the biggest innovator and really deserved this. Laura is so talented (did you see her condo!?), but not a visionary, and Uli has a career no matter what (here's hoping the evil overlord Wal-Mart picks her up). The only thing that sucks is that now they own 10% of Jeffrey's house, but then again his house now has $100k, all sorts of connections, bragging rights over catty Laura, and of course the pritty Saturn to take for a spin.
It made a season of bitching about Michael totally worthwhile when Heidi said of the final four "It was a hard decision, but [...] Michael is out." Then of the last three (Uli, Laura, and Jeffery, all 3 of which I love), she says again "It was a really tough decision..." meaning it wasn't so tough to axe Michael and his streetwalker/wannabe-Foxxy ATL Mid-K abortion of a line. I laughed so loud when she said it the second time so much more sincerely.
But congratulations to Jeffrey. He was totally the biggest innovator and really deserved this. Laura is so talented (did you see her condo!?), but not a visionary, and Uli has a career no matter what (here's hoping the evil overlord Wal-Mart picks her up). The only thing that sucks is that now they own 10% of Jeffrey's house, but then again his house now has $100k, all sorts of connections, bragging rights over catty Laura, and of course the pritty Saturn to take for a spin.
Internet is so different these days. Some 14-year-old Aussie kid owns iBrad.net and is probably getting all of my old email, there's some oddball on YouTube with the iBrad handle with videos too boring to even call strange, there was a style contest with so many talented (if blog-like) entries including two (2!) with popcorn themes, and I still haven't bothered with S2 or designed a damned thing in months... people still read this old rag, yet I haven't posted in a year and a day.
Weird. :)
KITTIES!!!!112omg! I'm cat-sitting for our friend Pam and watching clips of Drawn Together on YouTube. (In the past couple of weeks James and I have downloaded the first two seasons and the episodes of the third that have aired... god, I think it's my favorite animated show, even above Family Guy or ATHF, now.)
I need a new icon.
Weird. :)
KITTIES!!!!112omg! I'm cat-sitting for our friend Pam and watching clips of Drawn Together on YouTube. (In the past couple of weeks James and I have downloaded the first two seasons and the episodes of the third that have aired... god, I think it's my favorite animated show, even above Family Guy or ATHF, now.)
I need a new icon.
O frabjous day! There is now an Apple store in Omaha, Nebraska's own Village Pointe shopping center (map)!
Today, I went to the Grand Opening of Omaha's Apple Store. While I was there (standing in line for an hour plus before opening), I saw
firebird06's mom and sister, but I didn't see anyone else I knew (a good thing in a few cases). Bdingers and Teffdogs and such were sorely missed. James saw more people he knew than I did! I didn't buy anything, either! All that I left with--besides the omnipresent sense of Mac user pride/elitism and a few guys' numbers (kidding, JamesP!)--was my free T-shirt. Still, an Apple shirt! Of course, it wasn't anything special, on the front it just has an Apple logo and says "Village Pointe," then in the back, "Designed by Apple in California." I heart Apple freebies!! And it came in the most elaborate box that I think they could muster for a free T-shirt.
These trivial details aside, I was underwhelmed. One-story, pretty narrow, nothing spectacular. No glass staircase, no movie screen. The Studio was too busy to interact with, and the Genius Bar was staffed by interesting folk (including a cute blue-haired girl that I really wish I knew!). I suppose minimalism is always more beautiful in concepts and photographs, because inside it really looked like just a bunch of people and computers. Though what more should it be? People and computers is Apple, and everyone seemed pretty happy there.
Hi internets. What else are we doing today?
Today, I went to the Grand Opening of Omaha's Apple Store. While I was there (standing in line for an hour plus before opening), I saw
These trivial details aside, I was underwhelmed. One-story, pretty narrow, nothing spectacular. No glass staircase, no movie screen. The Studio was too busy to interact with, and the Genius Bar was staffed by interesting folk (including a cute blue-haired girl that I really wish I knew!). I suppose minimalism is always more beautiful in concepts and photographs, because inside it really looked like just a bunch of people and computers. Though what more should it be? People and computers is Apple, and everyone seemed pretty happy there.
Hi internets. What else are we doing today?
I just got nudged(!!), so this is the obligatory update. I'm alive! Things are copacetic, good and bad, like always. There's a lot to say and yet nothing that's too important. Okay, break is over. Goodbye.
It's so weird to reflect on the way things used to be, and how people and things change. Really, I'm flabbergasted by the hold that LiveJournal and podcasts and the internet can have on a person, or at the very least how they can change a person (good or bad). I can't say that I would be the same person I am, or even that I was years ago, without the kinds of people I've met and befriended, experiences I've shared, and things that I've learned and questioned through the connection of my personal computer and the internet. There's no doubt it's an amazing resource for learning, communication, social support, a coping mechanism, a mode of entertainment, and all sorts of things. I just don't like looking back on what happens to people (yours truly included) when it becomes the most important thing in your life, when it defines you. I don't like how it feels when I look at someone and it feels like they've totally changed themselves just for someone else. Worse, when they change into someone else and try so very hard to be something, or another, and take that all from everyone else. I feel hurt, betrayed, angry, and less myself when someone does this to me, even sad when I think about how some people use others instead of just thinking for themselves. When a person forms every bit of what they like, what they're interested in, the choices they make, the clothes they wear, the things they want to do, and the advice they ask/follow from others, even the friends/'interests' they keep, there's got to be something wrong.
I don't know. There's more, and I don't have much time to update. That's just one of the things that has been depressing me lately, though I feel like the past few weeks/months have been going really well. Anyway... I've been reading a decent book called "Why Can't You Read My Mind," helping me to realize some of my toxic self-talk (an internal dialogue that we all have and use). James and I have been drinking Slim-Fast Optima shakes for breakfast and lunch for a couple of weeks now, and they're starting to not be completely shudder-inducingly disgusting! Haha. Yesterday we watched Superman, and the day before, The Devil Wears Prada. Last night we hung out with Lemmers & Pampy, and drank historical beers with strange tastes. Okay, battery is dying and we're watching Pleasantville, so that's all the random crap I can think of. Au revoir.
I don't know. There's more, and I don't have much time to update. That's just one of the things that has been depressing me lately, though I feel like the past few weeks/months have been going really well. Anyway... I've been reading a decent book called "Why Can't You Read My Mind," helping me to realize some of my toxic self-talk (an internal dialogue that we all have and use). James and I have been drinking Slim-Fast Optima shakes for breakfast and lunch for a couple of weeks now, and they're starting to not be completely shudder-inducingly disgusting! Haha. Yesterday we watched Superman, and the day before, The Devil Wears Prada. Last night we hung out with Lemmers & Pampy, and drank historical beers with strange tastes. Okay, battery is dying and we're watching Pleasantville, so that's all the random crap I can think of. Au revoir.
I just went back 475 entries. That's ridiculous. I wish that friends filters had some way of figuring out what I care about and what I don't. Then, I wouldn't know what people want to hear in my entries, so I can't expect that anyone else would really know. Plus, filtering for friends-viewing is a hassle. I'm just going to do a friends cut. To my friends, I wouldn't worry--if you care whether or not I'm going to defriend you, I doubtfully ever considered it. I just have a lot of people that are still kinda strangers and that I always scroll past, and I'd like to save that time now. Pour your misery down on me.
- Music:Richard Cheese - Only Happy When It Rains
I didn't see this one coming: Boot Camp, your tentatively-named official Apple solution for dual-booting Windows on every Intel Mac. The third-party hack first appeared a number of weeks ago and has been circulating the internet and being used by those brave enough to complete the tricky installation and use a half-baked, unsupported Windows setup, and today Apple has released “Boot Camp,” with built-in, Apple-developed drivers to supply full graphics, audio, and networking support (though the ‘unsupported’ status has not changed).
As of this writing, Apple's stock has rised 8.09%, and it has not been a great month for AAPL thus far, so the market seems to agree with this being a great idea. This may be related to stock analyst Needham & Co.'s not-Apple-sanctioned consumer survey that estimated Apple could interest (and then grab) as much as 9% of market share by offering Macs that dual-booted Windows. What it means for those of us without Apple stock is a little more interesting: when Leopard (Mac OS X 10.5) comes out in Q1 '07 (slated for January), we'll have out-of-box dual-boot functionality. Nice, but what fate does this leave for Microsoft's Mac Business Unit and their Virtual PC product--and would VPC's all-but-certain death mean a life of mildly frustrating dual-booting for modern Mac users? Will there be a new implementation that saves the time (and uptime) lost from a dual-boot scenario? (Or is that minor inconvenience a strategic part of Apple's tactic?) We'll have to see.
Yours truly is going to wager that this particular amenity will attract twenty times more users than will ever bother to need or use it: it's a comfort feature, an attractant, and a statement to Apple's potential consumers about their attitudes (just check out Boot Camp's snarky commentary about Window's plaguing virii and complicated installation!). It'll always require a separate purchase of Windows (XP, or, also in '07, Vista), so that investment narrows down many potential users, and it may never be complete child's play in order to target every Mac user. Does anyone else remember the Performa 6100/66 DOS cards? One of my friends' family had one while I was in middle school, and I always remember wanting to go over and play with it to see how it worked and play Duke Nukem or whatever, but they wouldn't let me. Haha.
As of this writing, Apple's stock has rised 8.09%, and it has not been a great month for AAPL thus far, so the market seems to agree with this being a great idea. This may be related to stock analyst Needham & Co.'s not-Apple-sanctioned consumer survey that estimated Apple could interest (and then grab) as much as 9% of market share by offering Macs that dual-booted Windows. What it means for those of us without Apple stock is a little more interesting: when Leopard (Mac OS X 10.5) comes out in Q1 '07 (slated for January), we'll have out-of-box dual-boot functionality. Nice, but what fate does this leave for Microsoft's Mac Business Unit and their Virtual PC product--and would VPC's all-but-certain death mean a life of mildly frustrating dual-booting for modern Mac users? Will there be a new implementation that saves the time (and uptime) lost from a dual-boot scenario? (Or is that minor inconvenience a strategic part of Apple's tactic?) We'll have to see.
Yours truly is going to wager that this particular amenity will attract twenty times more users than will ever bother to need or use it: it's a comfort feature, an attractant, and a statement to Apple's potential consumers about their attitudes (just check out Boot Camp's snarky commentary about Window's plaguing virii and complicated installation!). It'll always require a separate purchase of Windows (XP, or, also in '07, Vista), so that investment narrows down many potential users, and it may never be complete child's play in order to target every Mac user. Does anyone else remember the Performa 6100/66 DOS cards? One of my friends' family had one while I was in middle school, and I always remember wanting to go over and play with it to see how it worked and play Duke Nukem or whatever, but they wouldn't let me. Haha.
